… there’s more work to do.
When I started my journey along the New Age path I picked up on the messages that stated we are here to clear our karma and that once we have done this we will reach and enlightened state akin to the great Buddha or Jesus himself. “All” we had to do was just keep chipping away at the fallout from our previous lives and the damage done in this life before we understood what was going on and it would all lead to great things.
And so, I set to it. As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I spent some years in abusive and coercive relationships and that left me with a number of “issues” that continued on into future relationships. I felt that if I could heal this and clear the traits that led me to make poor choices I would be on the home straight. And so I embarked on receiving energy healing, learning about different modalities and beavering away on solving this big problem that affected me so deeply.
Along the way I found other personality flaws and traits and was determined to fix those too, all so that I could reach that blissful state that was promised to me. I had experienced that bliss in meditations sometimes; a quick trip home to Spirit where everything was just love and light. I so desperately wanted to get back there.
I was in my early 20’s when I started that journey, I’m 46 on Sunday and I am not even close.
I used to break my heart in the desperation to get back to those peak experiences and feel the beauty of the love of Spirit, but for some reason it just didn’t last. Every single time I came back to the here and now with a bump and had to deal with this mundane and depressing world.
Then the great shift of 2012 happened and I thought we were on our way, not long now eh? Oh how the guys upstairs must have laughed at my naivety. 7 years down the line I feel further than ever before in reaching that state of enlightenment. To make it worse, a fairly rough regression that led me to be reliably grounded for the first time in this life left me feeling like I was back at square one. My ability to escape was gone and the tools I used to use to reach Spirit no longer worked. I started the process of finding my way back, only to realise there was no going back, all I could to was keep moving forward.
Then, a couple of months ago, on my lunch time walk through the trees I asked “Why have I still not solved this one great problem? It feels so unfair”… the answer came booming back “but you made progress, didn’t you?” and yes, I have very much made progress… just not enough.
Today I was chatting to a guy online. I haven’t met him, he’s recently appeared on a group I have been in for years. He reminded me so much of who I was 15 years ago in that he just had one more goal and then he would be home free. It reminded me of something a very very dear friend told me many years ago “if you’re still here, there still work to do”.
If we are here to clear our karma and progress so that our next life is better, or maybe even get off the wheel as some believe we can, then most of us have somewhere between 60 and 90 years to get it done. How can we possibly expect to cram it into our lives before we reach 46? It would be like trying to get a PHD at primary school.
Each day, each step we take, leads us towards growth. Some days it most definitely feels we have been going round in circles, and sometimes we’re just sitting on a bench watching the world pass us by, but that’s ok, there is no rush. And, if you believe in reincarnation (which is kinda necessary when we’re talking about karma) then there is always our next life.
I really wanted to get the one big thing fixed, I wanted to know that in the next life it wouldn’t bother me again and I could just get on as if it never happened… maybe I still will, but I think part of the lesson is to remember that the journey is the important bit, we’ll get there in the end.
So grab some road snacks, pick a great playlist, and settle in for the ride of your life, if there is still road ahead of you, there is more work to do.