Recently when posting on the SAD group I am with it was asked how you make yourself carry on when you feel so terrible… this was my response..
“When talking about how to use bloodymindedness; for me it’s about refusing to be beaten. I think in my case it comes from growing up with a member of my family struggling with serious mental illness coupled with having a breakdown at 13 myself. I simply refuse to go back into those dark places so I push through it and just do what needs to be done. Which, for me, is going to work.
I do believe it really helps. A good example is last weekend. I had been feeling pretty grim on Sunday, I had meditated and ended up crying so was feeling pretty fragile. The day before I had suggested we visit some friends but we didn’t go. Instead that afternoon hubby suggested we went. I wasn’t showered or anything but I forced myself to go and make myself presentable. On the way there I was thinking I REALLY didn’t want to go and asking myself why I hadn’t just stood up for myself and said no?
When we left our friends house I felt so much better. Just being around different people who care about me, did me so much good.
Sometimes if we push through the lethargy and resistance we really do benefit
Thinking on, it is also important to not identify with what you are feeling as permanent. Yes, in this moment I might just want to crawl under the quilt and hide, but if I am honest with myself, I know that feeling will pass. So, rather than thinking that what I am feeling is what I will always feel I accept it will pass I can help it on it’s way by acting as if it already has.
It is a fine line, when something terrible happens like a death you need to validate your feelings and accept that at times there are emotions you need to feel and move through. When we push down these kinds of feelings we end up making ourselves ill.
But, when I know it is “simply brain chemistry”, rather than a true response to a bad situation, it is important to look past it and not give it the same value. When we do this we can use bloodymindedness to MAKE ourselves carry on.
The great thing about SAD as opposed to classic depression, is we know it will pass, that it is only a matter of time and we know when that time will be. This means we can work to act as if we are already there.
If we let ourselves wallow in our misery (hey, I was doing this last week) we create a cycle of misery. We feel sad because we feel sad, we feel anxious because we feel anxious. In this process we make our situation so much worse.
Yeah, it is hard, bloody hard at times, but I do believe that in the long run, if we do this, moment by moment, we benefit from it greatly.”